Ant Not Sorry He Stole Tea-Towel

Ceiling Fixed Gecko Plans to Drop Tail in Home Owner's Mouth This Evening

Good friends, Pterodactyls, dreams coming true.

Recently, a good friend of mine said if she could be anything, it'd be a pterodactyl...so she could soar through the sky, and poop all over everyone below. I thought this was pretty funny, personally.

Filed under:  Pterodactyls:     true story:     her decision is both crazy and completely rational:         wiggidy-whack:      why don't these tags work

Ostrich Seriously Sick of Sticking Own Head in Sand

That's it. If I ever find the bogan that started this trend, I'm going to fly-kick him in the trachea. I don't even know why I do it anymore. Every time I slot my noggin beneath the earth's filth-ridden crust, I hope to God something new and interesting will materialise. Here, let me just...nup, see, just the same old fucking beige, fragmented silica. Have you ever voluntarily dumped a bucket-load of gritty sand in your eyeballs? If I had hands, I'd probably just scrape it out and get over it...or cut myself and call it a night. The point is, if you're responsible for this monstrosity... you now know what I look like. Let's fight motherfucker. I'll be beside this body of water. Waiting.  

Ugliest Woman In Sydney Becomes Dinner For Gluten Intolerant Locals

Dear Hamster,

Didn't anyone ever tell you, 'You don't shit where you eat'?


Sincerely, Stinky Cage

Cute Toy Like Spider Jumps

Hi-eeeey! Hi hi hi! (Fred would say, if he could...but he can't....'cause he's a jumping spider ).


Scary shit! Fred jumps. I didn't even know spiders could jump. Wikipedia tells me he's an aggressive hunter.  I imagine he'd wrestle you to the floor. Probably pin you down and then shoot you a wink. Lure you into a false sense of security. You know?


Yeah, you know.