A Short Story
Yesterday, I awoke in a drunken haze to find a
creepy old man lying on top of me, dripping his toupee adhesive onto my left
cheek. Trapped under this bulging, bolder of pedophilia, I began to spit and
gurgle violently in his direction in the hopes that it might reach his hearing
aid and electrocute him, or worst-case scenario, he’d just slip and fall-off. Seemingly aroused by my spurting fountain of disgust, he threw his tiny, de-formed, T-Rex
hands up behind his head and let-out a loud “Yeeessssss”. But then he had a
massive coronary and died. So I just called his wife and asked her to come and
pick him up.
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