Some are self explanatory
Some are so mysterious...all communication is non-verbal (the 'open gown, reveal phallus' kind of non-verbal)
Other bum-raping sorcerers hit you over the head with a branch
Or latch onto your back with their giant fingernails, lest you escape
Did you know Swedish bum-raping sorcerers were this cute? I didn't.
Dear Jessi-Cat,
I hear you've misplaced your silvery bagged mobile 'face'. Not to worry...you are definitely still remotely attractive. I can hardly notice those three black hairs protruding from your left nostril mole... or your ordinarily cleverly camouflaged eyebrow acne. And before you ask, I was most certainly not flicking coins at your big black circles, whispering secret wishes, then flinging myself over the office dividing wall. Anyhow, guess I'll just keep checking the 'Lost Property' box at reception for you.
P.S.
There is no Lost Property box at reception.
Sincerely, Not A Friendly Friend.
I used to date this dude named Frank. He was nice. Nice and weird. I knew this once he'd entered me and muttered "You've got no idea how long I've waited for this day". I was impaled VIA the groin by my very own stalker. Looking back, I don't know why we dated. Perhaps it was his soft hazel eyes that danced melodically over my skin. Perhaps it was his stature; tall and claiming. Or perhaps it was the premature balding patch that reflected moon beams directly into my retina... causing a temporary stimuli overload, episodic epilepsy, followed by a subsequent gap in time.
Here's hoping.
Absorbed in a less then picturesque Derwent-coloured hell...I begrudgingly attempted to sketch yet another train scene. Making windows appear 'less square' and bellies 'less toned', with the less than adequate materials provided and a deadline of two-thirds-of-fuck-all. "MUSH", they would say. "Draw faster! Draw better! Include those seventy three wrinkles on her hand!" Distressed in reception, I dreamt of scenarios such as sling-shotting a musty leather-bound textbook entitled "Exploitation 101" at their cashed-up craniums, or perhaps hosting a sing-a-long to "Let the boat people in, they draw good for cheap".
Who designed you?
Sincerely, Drowning.
Didn't anyone ever tell you, 'You don't shit where you eat'?
Sincerely, Stinky Cage
Hi-eeeey! Hi hi hi! (Fred would say, if he could...but he can't....'cause he's a jumping spider ).
Scary shit! Fred jumps. I didn't even know spiders could jump. Wikipedia tells me he's an aggressive hunter. I imagine he'd wrestle you to the floor. Probably pin you down and then shoot you a wink. Lure you into a false sense of security. You know?
Yeah, you know.
